Homer's Odyssey is a poem about the adventures of the pipe water escaping either by defect or on purpose when going through its various uses, from the water source to the home tap, the drinking cups, and to the flush toilet, passing through – and kept in – a central reservoir. The adventures are detailed in quasi-microscopic but poetical descriptions of the technical problems encountered in developing this system in conjunction with the health benefits of using clean pipe water. All the anthroponyms, toponyms and theonyms are made-up terms that school pupils had to analyze and decipher, providing ludic material for training in linguistics, physics, chemistry, hygiene, economics, sociology, and ethics while exercising the thought process.
Odysseus is the escaping pipe water. Its most frequent and impressive use is the toilet flush. The English synonym Ulysses is the word flush before spelling corruption. The ancestors of the flush are the elements of the manual water pump, including the bow-handled levier Autolycus and the up-and-down movement Amphithea (maternal grandparents), the fountain Chalcomedusa and the water autarky Arceicius (paternal grandparent). Further back in its genealogy, the escaping pipe water descends from the rain Zeus and the water reserve Euryodeia from its father's side. The pivot Hermes, the bow Apollo, and the cunning workmanship, Daedalion, combined to give birth to the force bow Chione, the great maternal grandmother. The escaping water's father is the suction and siphon effect Sisyphus, its step-father, the pipe network Laertes, and its mother, the pump piston Anticlea. Finally, the escaping water was raised from the earth to the pump's outlet by its wet nurse, Eurycleia, the piston valve.
The water flush got married to the filth, Penelope, i.e., pee, poo, vomit, etc., daughter of eating and drinking hangover Icarius and disgust Periboea ruling the kingdom of misery Sparta. The kingdom of the filth and the water flush themselves was the toilet Ithaca. Filth and flush gave birth to the bath Telemachus. The bath was born just before the flushing water was cut because of market and marketing issues (the Trojan War) and because of the drinking water Poseidon hated pipe water flushes and leakage Odysseus in periods of drought Ogygia.
The first four books (rhapsodies), known as Telemachia, tell the story of the bather Telemachus going out of the bathroom to inquire about the water flush's whereabouts. The bath is accompanied by the oil-ment, i.e., oil Athena transformed into Mentes, an oil-based preparation for fighters. In fact, Tele-machos means before-combat.
The first stop is the public bath, the boiler Nestor's place. The boiler descents from a teapot of samovar type placed in the chimney to provide medicinal infusions of Chloris herbs from the orchard Orchomenos in wool-filtered water Neleus. But the boiler also provides all-purpose boiling sterile water. The kingdom of the boiler is, of course, the fireplace Pylos. Tea serving is associated with the legendary hospitality of the Nestor boiler.
A professional version of the boiler is to be found in the salons de thé of the marketplace (Troy), where the apparatus has several teapots nesting on it like pigeons and tea is served in nestoris teacups. The Nestor's salon is where counselling and advice come and go in a bubbling and babbling atmosphere. The public bath is a second professional application of the boiler, frequently combined with tea serving but married to the running water facility Eurydice. This excessively expensive service gave birth to several health and beauty benefits but also to credit or barter payments (Peisistratus) and an army of debtors (Stratius).
After his bath at Nestor's place, Telemachus caught a cold. The doctor Menelaus told him it was his companion the seasonal flu, daughter of light dressing Leda under the rain Zeus, the beautiful Helen queen of Sparta misery that is, and prescribed him another cup of herbal tea at Nestor's chimney. Fortunately it wasn't anything more serious of the Agamemnon kind. These diseases are transmitted only by imprudent sexual activity with unknown people.
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